MINISTRY OF PANTS

Legend of Bill

2011-04-20T23:17:00.000-05:00

The lovely Princess Gina. From Legend of Bill. From Dave Reddick. Comic Genius.

Dumping of sketches

2011-01-28T17:59:00.000-05:00

Well here we go:

Sexy Lexy

2011-01-27T12:26:00.000-05:00

Here's one of my heroes, the incomparable Lex Luthor! What does it say about me that one of the fictional universe's greatest villains is my hero? It says that everybody else is wrong when they say that there is good and evil in the world. To me and Lexy, it's all subjective...

Also, he was drawn for a sketch jam at penciljack.com, which is an awesome, evil place.

Conan wears chaps, but nobody bugs him about it...

2011-01-27T12:17:00.000-05:00

Here's Conan, wearing chaps, holding swords. I think that was Robert Howard's initial interpretation, but I'm not sure. Big sketch dump to come...

Lady Ghost Ridah

2011-01-11T23:08:00.005-05:00

Here's a sketch of Lady Ghost Rider that was part of a weekly sketch group from Penciljack.com... More to come: I've moved my scanner upstairs! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA...

(cough)

AAHAHAHAHA!

Hirsute Historical Heroes Happily Hurt Hordes

2009-06-13T23:24:00.007-05:00

Here is the picture EVERYONE has to draw - Abraham Lincoln fighting, defeating and then standing over the fallen corpses of Werewolves. Sheesh, what a cliché. The incomparable Stephen Lindsay did this to me after his comment on my Jesus picture (below). Not only does Jesus hate Zombies, but apparently, and for reasons known only to him so far, Lincoln hates Werewolves!

Here we see Jesus Christ and Abraham Lincoln fending off an attacking horde of 50s style robots. It happens regularly that random, unconnected historical figures find themselves in these predicaments. This is (again) a picture done for Stephen Lindsay, the creator of the hilarious "Jesus Hates Zombies" series, featuring "Lincoln Hates Werewolves". He actually took the time to write a script for me to draw, with which I am having a blast.

Gandalf and Jesus

2009-04-16T21:10:00.003-05:00

Gandalf and Jesus are natural enemies, like leather and Wolverines, or cats and Velociraptors. This dude created a series of stories involving Jesus being this kick-ass zombie killing machine, titled "Jesus Hates Zombies" and I was impressed, so I drew a picture. Gandalf is just damn cool.

She Hulk

2009-04-16T21:07:00.003-05:00

This is She Hulk, holding what appears to be an anchor. She has no nipples or any other girly bits not because I'm bashful, but because I'm just not done yet.

The nice folks at www.penciljack.com have this groovy "Weekly Sketch Group" thingie that has my mojo going.

Lord of the Things

2009-01-11T23:20:00.006-05:00

Here we have the mandatory LOTR submissions, as drawn by anyone even remotely interested in the films. My little sister has recently discovered them and has been raptured by their Jacksonian magnetism, so I, ever the accomodating big brother, have offered to doodle a few renditions of the Group of Seven, or whatever the hell they were called. Gimli (who I rather enjoy) and Legolas (who I think is a tool) and one (soon to be uploaded) Gandalf. I'm staying the frak away from Hobbits.

Oz!

2009-01-10T00:09:00.000-05:00

The drawing board (www.drawingboard.com) has these groovy dudes who like to do jams, and after sitting on the sidelines and looking at their amazing contributions, I've decided to throw in. The jam thread is titled "Battle for the Land of Oz" so I figured our characters would have to be some battle-hardened mo-fos in the middle of a fight. My only problem is the rocks, I'm terrible at landscapes (...and anatomy... composition... character design... perspective...)

A great big pile of Brooks

2008-12-06T10:50:00.002-05:00

This here is yet another installment of the Brooks vehicle... He's just dispatched with a horde and some twitch from the pile has caught his eye. The amazing JJ Burke of Fantastic Horror (www.fantastichorror.com I've mentioned them before) has coloured my stuff in the past and we're trying to work something out for Brooks to be a regular dude over there. Needless to say I'm desperately incapable of delivering what they want, so I'll just ride this train until they figure out that I'm a talentless moron...

Wizard's First Rule

2008-11-16T18:28:00.003-05:00

Another Brooks picture, mostly to kinda flesh out what he would look like when strolling from one place to another, and to get an idea of what he carries with him. Conveniently, all of his accessories are in that duffle bag. I know it's nearly identical to the other picture somewhere down there of the dude walking with the stick, but I'm a one trick pony, folks.

This is a wizard doing something with some thing in a ball thing. Again, a commission for my astoundingly gorgeous sister Alicia. I don't know all that much about wizards, but I've read enough Goodkind and Brooks and Tolkien to know that they're usually a bunch of know-it-all curmudgeons who could easily defeat whatever antagonist there is, but would rather aloofly and vaguely guide some poor shmuck to do their dirty work. You all should go read Scott Bakker - his take on wizards is a real breath of fresh air. They're all bastards.

Another Fairy

2008-09-07T20:34:00.003-05:00

This here is another picture I drew for my gorgeous little sister Alicia. She asked for something fiery, I drew a fairy. I'm dyslexic and I can't spell, but she gets a drawing all the same.

Jedi Pikeman

2008-08-04T22:13:00.002-05:00

Well here's another little doodle of - you guessed it: a Jedi. I guess the Force didn't give this poor sap clairvoyance enough to learn to sew. Also - if I can think of a way to draw a Jedi brushing her teeth with a light-toothbrush, I will. I'm crazy for that stuff.

Rhinos and gloves

2008-05-27T09:54:00.003-05:00

This is a rhinoceros that I drew for my lovely little sister Alicia. I'm not sure I got the anatomy right, though.

This is supposed to be the She Devil with a Sword - Red Sonja. One silly yet critical thing is missing - her damn gloves. How can I spend all this time drawing a specific character and then forget her uniform? Drugs, that's how.

Recent doodles

2008-03-23T10:07:00.002-05:00

This here is Baxter, my character in a role-playing game. He's an ex-innkeeper with a drill-sargeant background who, despite his age, can still kick some sleeper ass (unless, of course, he gets bitten and therefore paralyzed, which happens).
This is just some dude walking around. He's carrying a stick, which people often do whilst walking. They're commonly known as "walking sticks" in these parts.
I can't remember if I've posted a picture of this fella before, so here he is (again?) but inked.

Stabbed

2007-11-12T20:06:00.000-05:00

Here's a fellow having a particularly pissy day. I'll ink him at some point and see how he turns out.

Conan in Black and White

2007-11-12T18:31:00.001-05:00

So there he is again, same picture, a few more details, which is something at which I'm really quite terrible, but there you have it. Perhaps I'll do a background next. HA!

Where the hell have I been?!

2007-10-25T17:14:00.000-05:00

Here's Conan, slicing off the head of some shmuck.

It's incomplete, but at least it's proof that I'm still alive and drawing...

Finally!

2007-07-29T22:17:00.001-05:00

Well here it is. Word balloons, narrative boxes and all. Pretty amateurish, eh?

Sir Brooks comic version 3

2007-07-29T00:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's like, 3 days before the July 31st deadline given to be by JJ, the cool cat over at fantastichorror.com, and this is all I've done. I've completely re-drawn the page with basically the same panels, the same action and punchline, but refined what I felt were stupid detail mistakes and such. I'm going to include word bubbles and narrative boxes in each panel, and I even have a nifty photoshop tutorial to show me how!

For those of you that are interested, here are some rough ideas of what is going to be written to accompany the images:

Panel 1: Narrative box - "Zombies are a stupid, putrid lot. They shuffle about, walking into trees and tripping over rocks, barely aware of their hunger..."

Panel 2: Narrative box - "...Once they catch your scent though..."

Overlay word (Zombie) - "SNIFF"

Panel 3: Narrative box - "...They're relentless."

Word balloon (Sir Brooks) - "Come on, you bastard"

Panel 4: Narrative box - "Luckily for me, I'm well equipped..."

Panel 5: Narrative box - "...well trained..."

Panel 6: Narrative box - "...and I have a fair bit of experience in dealing with these abominations."

Panel 7: Narrative box - "Their timing could be better, though..."

Word Balloon (Sir Brooks) - "Come on..."

Sir Brooks, comic version 2

2007-07-29T00:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, so fantastichorror.com has asked for a page of Sir Brooks in action, and my being the hyper, self-loathing over-reviewer that I am, I drew the same thing over and over again. There was always a panel that wasn't right. Always a detail that kinda smelled funny.

I think the first one is down below somewhere, but here is attempt #2.

Few newbies

2007-06-09T22:16:00.000-05:00

This here is a jedi dude going through his trials. He's got to keep the lightsaber from touching the energy rings, while making the cubes pass through the framed box, while floating 5 inches above the ground, while keeping his little skirt from revealing his "little yoda" to the rest of the class. No wonder they're all so uptight.
This here is a gal. Done purely for her own sake. You'll notice she shares a Ken doll's anatomy issues, because this is a PG-13 site, people. If you want smut, well, e-mail me. I have tons of it.
Bounty huntress. That's ice cream on her sword. She hunts down errant ice cream for money.
I don't know who made the rule, but it's retarded. Who said that centaurs had to all be these buff dudes with long flowing locks and living in the suburbs of Homer's Illiad? Why can't we have cowboy centaurs? Accountant centaurs? Clown centaurs? That cuts it: I'm going on a centaur rampage. Stay tuned for "Frank Charlington - Municipal Tax Accountant Centaur"! Not everyone leads an action-packed life. Not even centaurs.

Regal beagle

2007-05-20T22:16:00.000-05:00

She could be a really powerful queen who just likes to sit naked and submissive at the foot of a burly, bearded, dominating overlord. I sometimes like to do that. Lots of people do. I didn't say WHO was being regal, now did I? Well it's her. Fooled you. (Kinda like how I covered my "too-lazy-to-draw-feet" ass by cleverly covering the area with a cape... Heh, and you losers fell for it)

Stalak take 2

2007-05-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

This is that "Stalak" dude that I told you guys about earlier. This is the picture I re-did after dude asked for another version. I read George RR Martin and I still had to look up what all the acoutrements were. Just goes to show you how ADD affects the lives of... look at the kitty!

Sir Brooks in action

2007-05-16T20:18:00.000-05:00

A very rough page of Sir Brooks in "action". You can kinda see the text, but the gist of it is that he's taking a leak while slowly ambling undead surround him. It's really tough to stop mid-stream, you know.

CASEY - BANE OF WORLDS

2007-04-01T13:21:00.000-05:00

Casey and dad in our normal state: stunned (and kinda smelling like poopy). The lit'lest man is now over 12 pounds and kicking ass. His state of Zen is an inspiration to all of us.

Our gorgeous son Casey was born March 6th, 2007, weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces... The pictures are a little disjointed, but there was a meningitis scare that led us from our great hospital to the Children's Hospital here in town, where we have spent the last three weeks... Above is Casey with his hip-hopping net hat, one of the varied and creative devices needed to keep him from tearing out his IV...
We finally arrived home on March 29th. When we left he was 8 pounds 13 ounces!

Size doesn't matter

2007-02-13T23:16:00.000-05:00

Is there a specific length that lightsabers MUST be? Judith doesn't think so. She's crafted a pair of nifty lightdaggers for herself. Clever gal. I know, 2 "jedi" pictures in a row. I admit to my faggy geekness. I actually have more "jedi-chick-with-lightsaber-or-otherwise-using-the-force-in-a-goofy-way" pictures to upload, but nobody seems to be looking anyway, so who the hell cares?

Toaster Jedi

2007-02-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

She's not just making the toaster float... She's actually TOASTING BREAD IN THERE! She must be a master.

Home sweet Hand

2007-02-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

Okay so this dude, he's out foraging, or adventuring or something, right? and he comes back to his house, see, but his house is a big HAND! What the hell? Maybe some left over Ozymandiasian fallen idol to some ancient god or something that he's hollowed out and uses for a retreat... Hey I just draw 'em, folks.

Pointy ears makes it "fantasy"

2007-01-23T18:52:00.000-05:00

So I occasionally draw naked chicks. References are used (even the Jesus sandals).

Sir Brooks - 2206 Common Era

2007-01-23T18:46:00.000-05:00

Remember Sir Brooks? He's still going strong, hunting zombies all the way in the FUTURE! Fancy gear, interesting weapons, same logo.

A sucker born every minute...

2007-01-23T18:38:00.000-05:00

So there's this guy, see, and he keeps asking me to draw these pictures for him, see, even though... (snicker) even though I suck! Oh, man! I'm really screwing the pooch on this one! (guffaw!) His eyes are certainly being covered by wool, which is being pulled over by me! (suppressed laugh)
Here's two of his characters that he's asked me to portray. If you're talking to him, don't tell him I'm bad at this. (P.S. that note above? I was catching up on season 5 of 24, and it's not Dick Cheney, it's John McCain.)

A cut lass with a Cutlass

2007-01-08T18:26:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I draw something just for the title alone. For some ungodly reason I came up with this little beauty as a result of a late-night Diet Coke induced pun seizure.

Monk

2007-01-08T12:13:00.000-05:00

This here is just your typical, run-of-the-mill chica with a sword, a gun, and little faces on her boobs, and, of course, cargo pants.

Borneo Pudding

2007-01-08T12:04:00.000-05:00

Here's what I do: I sit on my couch and doodle pictures in my sketchbook while a movie plays in the background. Preferably Mystery Science Theatre 3000, or some other mindless piece of sneeze that I don't really have to pay attention to. Here's what happened here: I was doing the above-mentioned activity with Underworld Revolution, a movie that I paid more attention to that normal. The sketch below is the result of my shitty multi-tasking skills. What the hell do "Borneo" and "Pudding" have to do with one another?!

Sir Brooks again (I warned you)

2007-01-04T23:43:00.000-05:00

Here he is again, my favourite zombie-slaying dude. Less armour, more helmet. He's younger too. I really should post more action pictures. Well, I really should draw more action pictures and then post them.

Elf warpaint

2007-01-04T23:39:00.000-05:00

I rarely ink anything, so this little slice of barf is one of the seldom occasions I've "coloured" something. You'll notice that there is no shading, just a glorified black and white picture so that I can pat myself on the back for actually using Photoshop on something.

Drusas Achamian and Cnaiur Urs Skiotha

2007-01-04T23:34:00.000-05:00

Drusas Achamian and Cnaiur Urs Skiothta are characters by one of my favourite fantasy writers, R. Scott Bakker. He's a local Ontario boy who is writing the "Prince of Nothing" series. Quite possibly the best fantasy work I've read in my life. Here, in all of its unworthy crappitude, is my rendition of two of the main characters. Run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore.

Fairies aren't alrways fairies, you know

2007-01-04T23:29:00.000-05:00

I'm sick of all these peace-loving, flower-kissing, toes-in-a-small-pool-of-water fairies. Just like anybody else, there are some fairies who just like to kick ass. The only thing I can really say about this sketch is that I will never, EVER, draw dragonfly wings again.

Aquariguts

2007-01-04T23:06:00.000-05:00

Well it's this guy who, instead of having actual guts, has a little fishbowl instead, with fish and everything. Hey, not every idea is good, okay?

I hate hatred

2007-01-04T23:03:00.000-05:00

I had this idea that it would be really neat if there was a magic metal that would spell out your sentiment as you wielded it. In this case, she is filled with hatred. (I plan on drawing more realistic swords like: "Hungry" or "Slightly constipated" or something.)

Stalak

2007-01-04T23:02:00.000-05:00

Stalak is a character I've drawn as a concept for this cool dude who has no idea that I suck. I have another version that's a touch cleaner, but I think he went with this one.

Damn zombies

2007-01-04T22:59:00.000-05:00

Sir Brooks is a character I really enjoy drawing. He's a zombie slayer. I've drawn him in various stages of undress and action and repose, even at different ages. Here's an older, wiser Sir Brooks, still sporting his crested shift (which also changes occasionally.)

Stick figure

2007-01-04T22:51:00.000-05:00

Sticks are really neat. They poke things, you can swing them at people... That's pretty much it for sticks.

Rocketman

2007-01-04T22:49:00.000-05:00

This is Jonah P. Teegs, the Rocketman. He straps a honking big rocket to his back and flies around. I'm really really trying to add more detail into my mediocre work, which has been sadly lacking any kind of real Darrow-esque attention to the small stuff.

Finally, a purpose revealed!

2007-01-04T22:43:00.000-05:00

As this whole candy box is created with the intention of posting my drawings in their own little piece of real estate, I figured I'd best start putting them up... Here is a picture done a few weeks ago of the face of a weathered old Amish wizard. "What's an Amish wizard doing with a shiny headband?" you ask. "Bite me" I reply.

My first post, don't pay any attention

2007-01-04T22:40:00.001-05:00

Well here we are. Isn't this lovely.